With all of the fish in the sea, it can be complicated in figuring out if you are dating the "catch of the day" or the "catch of a lifetime". If you are finding yourself asking "Is he the one?" or "Is he the one for now?", see how your relationship compares to the following list:
There has to be some sort of mutual spark between you two, if you do not want the relationship to fizzle out early on (or else face a lifetime of the discontentment of "settling"). You will find that you are naturally attracted to "The One" without having to convince yourself. One core component to a healthy relationship is intimacy, so it is not selfish to have reasonable standards when it comes to physical attraction. Just remember that this is a two-way street, so your partner should also be physically attracted to you.
Shared Core Values
You two may not always be on the same page, but you share a common belief system when it comes to the important topics in life. If you two constantly fight over clashing religious, political, family, or financial values, then this is not "The One" for you. If you two are more in accord when it comes to these topics, you are more likely to last a lifetime together. You do not have to agree on everything (and wear matching outfits), but it will be impossible to happily stay together for long if there is constant negativity or resentment over values that cannot be compromised on.
Your True Self is on Full Display
When you are with "The One," you never have to hide who you really are. This goes way beyond just being able to see each other "raw" (i.e., no makeup, hair gel, deodorant, or push-up bra). On top of this, you can be emotionally vulnerable around each other. If you are upset, you seek out "The One's" shoulder to cry on (not run to the bathroom to hide your tears). In addition, you can be silly, goofy, pouty, wild, sexy, or whatever else you feel like being in the moment. If you are screening your words, emotions, and actions too much because you are worried about what your partner will think of you, then that is how you know he is NOT "The One" for you. "The One" does not judge.
Visions of a Future Together
Lifetime goals should be taken into consideration (i.e., you don't plan to move to Canada someday when you know your partner hates cold weather). How to know if he is the one- ask yourself the following question-- A year from now, do you still think you and your partner will be together? What about five years from now? Hopefully, your future visions include your partner. Ideally, you should be able to imagine enjoying each other's company in old age. If you are so miserable that you are unsure if you two will make it until next Tuesday, then this is certainly not "The One."
You Make Each Other Happy
This may seem obvious, but you would be surprised by how many couples are not happy with their current partner. The smiles, laughs, kisses, and hugs should far outweigh the tears, stress, anger, and frustration. When you are away from "The One" for an extended amount of time, you are going to miss them (not celebrate). You look forward to seeing "The One" after work each evening because at the end of the day, it is "The One" who gives you motivation to keep at it, stay grounded, and to be happy to be alive to share a life together.
If you feel your current partner comes up short after reviewing this list, it may be time to re-evaluate your relationship. Sometimes direct and open communication can repair a damaged relationship, other times it is necessary to cut one's losses to find the real "One" for you. I am happy to help you with any part of this process. Contact me on Kasamba
so we can figure out together if he is the one for you as quickly as possible.