how to communicate better how to communicate better

Importance of communication in a relationship

The truth is that communication is one of the biggest reasons for relationship success or failure. Whilst, it is not always easy to express how we feel or hear what is being said, it is still paramount that we prioritise communications, no matter how difficult the circumstance.

Life can become busy and so much can be taken for granted even with the sincerest of intentions. So often when we want to express and communicate but we simply don’t have the time or the patience.

Someone once said, “If you just communicate, you can get by, but if you communicate skilfully- You can work miracles!” It’s time to understand the key skills needed in achieving these communication miracles with the tips below.

How to Communicate Better - It Is About Give and Take

In the early stages of a relationship, communication can be a challenge especially as we are unsure about so much. Even simple situations can feel overwhelming! Confusions easily arise when you’re wondering when to contact the other person and whether you should initiate the conversation or wait. There is never a right or wrong answer for any of these situations.

Trusting our instincts is a good start when we are making those choices, always making sure we are comfortable with the path we choose. In order to achieve effective communications, it is always best if we are in control of our own emotions and expectations.

importance of communication in a relationship

How can you fix communication in a relationship? Well, holding back in a relationship, just to remain in control can lead to the person feeling a lack of interest and sadly a potential relationship can be lost. To remain in control with ego driving our decisions is not the answer to a relationship success. It is give and take, simply sharing respect and understanding to achieve a beautiful balance in co-dependency and independence.

Find a Balance - Understand the Differences

Each of us has a different history and it is important to have respect for our differences. We need to understand when our partner needs time alone to gather their thoughts or when they need reassurance and a loving embrace. So how can you communicate in a relationship with a man? With a woman?

Sometimes time apart or time to think rationally can make all the difference between a successful resolution and a sad breakdown.

Yet to shut down and bury our head in the sand at a time when love and care needs to be expressed, can so often bring pain and hurt. It is the magic of understanding that we need to possess, about what approach is needed at which stage of the relationship.

We develop this understanding over time, learning from experience in communication with one another. It is indeed a challenge to know what your partner needs during the early stages of the relationship. Body language and instincts usually help us assess if we need to talk and reassure with love. Yet at times, anger and complaining signals a need to talk. When numerous messages and phone calls go unanswered, it is clear space is needed. We should respect their need for time to think, step back and let them know we’re there for them.

 improve communication skills

Never Make Assumptions

So how can you communicate with your spouse? To assume that we have found the one we love and they will always understand us, is a wrong assumption to make. Communication forms the foundation of a successful relationship and adapting it as the relationship develops is critical for maintaining a happy, mutual understanding.

A happy relationship brings comfort and peace to our souls, promoting a feeling of oneness within the relationship. It is not just about expressing and listening but more importantly about finding a good balance between the two.

It is essential we establish mutual support and encouragement to avoid a breakdown in understanding. A breakdown in communications and making assumptions causes rifts and bitterness. Avoiding one another and choosing to be quiet with the fear of more arguments is a sign of corrosion within the relationship. Foundations weaken when friction and frustration take over the core. Making time to talk helps promote understanding, alleviating frustrations and creating a better flow of emotions.

Mutual Respect Unlocks Deepest Emotions

To earn respect we need to express ourselves with honesty, even when what we are saying is difficult in its content or the situation. It is critical to choose a mutually suitable time to talk where there is no rush for meetings or appointments. Look for a quiet, uninterrupted neutral environment. Give full attention to what is being said, listen with an open mind and understand what is being expressed, without judgement. Speak clearly and objectively, with direction so they know how you feel without blame.

It is always better to express because it vents the negativity from our souls and leaves us feeling lighter and able to heal. Healing allows us to move forward with confidence no matter what the outcome of the relationship. It is important to respect our partner’s emotions and circumstance, even when it is hurtful remembering it is only when we care for someone we go through the trouble of expressing emotions - good or bad.

Improving communication skills means appreciating what we have with one another and creating magic in our relationships by managing expectations and promoting understanding. Life’s too short- let’s communicate skilfully!

Love Specialist Isabelle Love Specialist Isabelle
Contributing advisor:
Love Specialist Isabelle

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